DESTINY

When they told me that I was dying, I had to go to counseling to prepare me to die.
Well after about two years of that I had become uncaring and just wanted to get it over with. I am not sure if I wanted to live in this world the way it is becoming.It seems like everywhere you look there is ugliness and pain, why is that?
I thought the word of God is that

We should love thy neighbor,

Turn the other cheek,

Do unto ours as you would have them do unto you,

Doesn’t that mean to everyone?

Does it say just these people or those people?

No it doesn’t say any people.

We are nothing but creatures that were put here by GOD.

What we become is up to us.

Everything has a beginning and an ending. Just like the past of this

planet, it too will change,

What will you do then?

What worries me is that every day there is new life here,

Where and what will happen to your kids and their kids.

Are you willing to take the chance that this world will not change or will you start to do something about your surroundings, it is up to you on how you will treat the next person that walks up to you.

I have made mistakes in my life, Hell I just might be making one right now. Just because you don’t like what I am about, all you have to do is click report, well, when you do, remember one thing, I will be back, because I will not be stopped. I think that all people should be treated with respect and kindness. If you can’t do that, then it is you with the real problem, not me.

There is someone on my list of friends that, it just gets my goat, when they open their mouth, because of what they talk about, yet I do not hide or block them, because I want them to see what I have to say.

I think that any one person can be what they want to be,

Vote the way they want to vote,

Pray the way they want to pray,

Date whoever they want to date.

I will not judge you, but if you feel the need to judge someone, then judge me, you’ll be leaving someone else alone for a while.

It is not my wish to piss you off, but it is my destiny to make you see yourself, as you really are…

Can you change to be better?
Here’s hoping your life is full of pleasure and joy comes to you in many forms.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream

“ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

Thank you for your love and your support.

 

 

Kiss

BEING PASSABLE OR NOT

Every day I try hard to deal with many things in my life. Today I would like to talk about (Being Passable). That is what Transgender people try hard to do and some pay big money to try and make that happen.

I used to always worry about someone knowing what I was, male or female, and I thought that it would be better if I could pass as a women. I live here in The South, in a place called Albany Ga. Here there are not but a handful of Transgender people that will walk out in public here.

I take one hell of a chance every time I walk out of my home. Because the more passable I am the more risk I take, if I look real good and pass as a women, than a man comes up to me and starts to talk to me,

What do I do then?

I have to say something.

I will try to be nice.

I always watch myself about being soft in the way I talk.

If he does not stop there, but wants to get to know me more…what is it that I should do then?

I have learned that the truth is always the best way to show yourself to the public. If it gets to that point, I will then ask this gentleman if he knows just what I am. I do not want to lie to someone or to show myself off as anything other than what I am.

I am A Transgender male to female and I am proud of myself for getting this far in my life.

I am 65 years old and every day I live with the fact that I should have died a long time ago. I have always wondered just what is my purpose in life, I think that I may have found it, I love to talk and writing is like making music to me.

I have found that it is not a matter of whether or not I am passable, the truth is I am just a man in a dress to the most of you, and there is nothing I can do about that. I have come to love myself, as I am. I am not a man any more; I have crossed the line of no turning back. I can never go in public without a top on, that’s for sure.

Where we live, I have known people like myself that have stepped into that world where they were thought to be a real woman, when the guys found out that she was not a woman, it cost her the only life that she had, her own. She was beaten and left for dead at an old school house where she lived, not more than 30 miles from where I live today.

Jacqueline and I went to town today and had to get some food, we just needed to get out for a few. She looked real nice today with her brown outfit on. She is so lovely, sometimes I find myself just watching her. She is so much a lady, if I were a man; she would most surely be my woman.

She has this natural look about her that she could pass as a woman, but she does not see things the way I do, she has not had to deal with all the hate that I have had to deal with over the 30 years I have been dressing like this, I know that I am not always passable, but I know that I am Beautiful.

I don’t try as hard any more to be passable, because I now tell everyone that I am a Transgender person and I am proud of my life.

There are times when I wish that I had not chosen the path that I have, but then if I had not, I would not be me.

I would not have met this Beautiful young woman. She is the one that fills my need for love.

Together we now walk out in public and I will always try my best to protect her, I really don’t care if I have to act like a man to do so.

So the thought for the day is that you don’t need to be what you are not, just to be passable, because if you show the truth about yourself to others, then and only then will you become passable, because the most important people in your life will see you as you are…Beautiful

Remember to always be the best you can be, but also remember that no one is prefect, we all make mistakes, do your best and God will take care of the rest.

Written by Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream ” One race called the human race”

 

 

run

 

 

Can I learn to forgive?

I got to cook today, and for me that means a lot. It’s not every day I can feel that way. I love to cook and make up a nice plate for Dinner, and when I have someone to do it for, it makes things even better.

I have been going through a lot of things and I am mentally and physically tired. I am trying now just to relax for a while; I have taken three pain pills and would like not to take any more tonight. There is one thing I can say about the Marine Corp I was in is that they taught you how to endure pain.
   My friend Madame Jacqueline is doing just great as for being a friend, yet I cannot help but feel that I am hurting her as well as myself. Because of me, she has not had a chance to get a gig. I cannot help but feel that because of me things will get rough around here.
   I called the People that are suppose to help people like me to live on our own, so that we can still feel like part of something. I asked if there was a program that would help me pay for help, so I could live at home and not in a home. She told me that the only thing that she could do was to have someone come to me three days a week to help me get dressed and cook for me, help me to clean, but I would have to give them 260.00 dollars out of my SS which is only 850.00 and as for as me not being able to drive, I would have to sit at where ever I had to go till the van came back to get me.

   It’s like I worked and I paid and I work some more for what. Oh, they will not come if someone else is living with me, get that. So I thought about a nursing home, I need to be thinking about these things because they look like they could be part of my future. Anyway, If I need to go there, they will take everything that is in my name away from me, and I will not be allow to have anything like a PC or anything else, They will take my van, anything in my checking account and my check every month. I will have nothing. There goes my freedom.
   I will not give up so easy; we are going back to the Flea Market and try to move forward with our lives. I have decided that things will change for us, I am not putting out my signs or any photos of us, We are going out there to sell whatever we can, because we have no choice, I will not let anyone ever stop me from doing what I want to do or saying what I want to say, But I will also forgive anyone that thinks they are better than me or Madame.

   I will forgive any fool that thinks he has the right to call us or any one like us names, I will forgive the asshole that thinks he is God. Because I am better than that, I am better than any of them. We will go and set up with our junk and if you come by fine, if you don’t you lose, not me, I am One of the most interesting people I know. I can tell you a story and you will not know what is real. God give me a Brain to use as I see fit.

   It is the only thing that I can control. and I need help with that, But most of all I have feelings, I hurt inside, In my life I have committed so much sin that I will never see Heaven or God.
   I believe that God has chosen people like me to carry that cross that has become our burden, We are all now expected to live up to Gods way. Man has changed the holly words to make you believe what they want you to believe. There were no words written by God, but by Man.
   In the name of God people have died, because someone else thinks that their God is telling them to do these things to others, that is not what God is about.
   God to me is about what I do here, when I sit here and try to understand why and how did we become the creature with so much hate inside us that we would harm another human creature, yes, we are but creatures of God, just like all the rest of his Creatures, and I do not use the word as to say that God is a man, God is our voices, our cry’s, our sadness and pain, God is our love and understanding, we are all part of what God is, but to have Good there must be evil, I am that evil here, that hatred, that hurting and that pain, You cannot hide, because we are everywhere. The fear that I put into your head brings your God closer to your heart, I cannot change the things that I have done, but I can change the way I feel about myself. I have never before been so afraid of death than I am right now. Because I was not allowed to walk into the House of your God, I feel that I am dammed for Hell.
   We are going out to the Flea Market and I really don’t care about anything but trying to sell something to help me keep my friend here to take care of me. I ask for nothing but respect and allow us to do what we need to do and earn something.

It is no longer important to me about how you feel about me.

It is more important to me to care about how I feel about me.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream
“ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

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“LOST FOR WORDS”

MY LIFE IS LIKE A PIECE OF BREAD I DROPPED ON MY PORCH TODAY,
TOMORROW IT WILL HAVE BEEN BLOWN AWAY.
I FEEL THAT THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE THAT IS TRUE,
IT HAS ALWAYS JUST BEEN YOU.

FOR THE PAST YEARS ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS DIE,
TODAY I KNOW NOW, THAT I WOULD MISS YOU WHEN MY LIFE HAD PASSED ME BY.
YOU HAVE FILLED MY HEART WITH A JOY,
I KNOW THAT I WILL CHERISH IT ABOVE ALL.

THE LOVE THAT I SEE IS BUT A REFLECTION OF YOUR LOVE FOR ME.
THE MIRROR THAT I LOOK INTO IS YOUR HEART.
YOU HAVE GIVEN YOUR ALL,
AS YOU HAVE FILL MY LIFE WITH JOY.

I HAVE GIVING YOU NOTHING,
YOU GAVE ME EVERYTHING,
I KNOW THAT IT MAY BE TO LATE, YOU SEE,
BUT I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WOULD STAND WITH ME

 

I am feeling a little on the sad and depressed side tonight. My health is down and I am having problems staying awake, I keep passing out. My heart is every weaken I have to stay on my oxygen because it is having to beat so hard, only working at less then 15%, there is not much time left for me, that’s why I have to write. I told you that I fought in a war, well we could not win that war, because of the people here calling us names as they smoked pot and got high. While we were over there killing or being killed those same people that were blame us for the war was sitting here taking all the good shots at life, so when we can home there was nothing for us but hatred.

That is why I stand today, I’m not giving up on this war, A war for human rights, for your rights and also my rights. I have the right to live and die wearing a dress. That is when I look my best.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream
“ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

 

NOT A MAN

“TO MY LOVE”

 
I have created this rose just for you,
I would like to share my life with you too.
I have come to find you to be true.
That is why I now share my life with you,

 

It does not matter if you are near or far,
I will always love you no matter where you are.
Never has anyone been so true to me,
As you have my dear, can’t you see.

 

Because of you I live,
You have given all you can give.
You give a kindness and a love that is true.
That is why today I share my heart with you.

 

I vow to stand up tall,
To always love you all.
The thing that I love the best,
Is that you are different than the rest.

 

 

Sometimes I try to add a little something here, but today I am not feeling so good. I am having to be on my oxygen all the time and when I take my morphine, it wants to knock me out. I can only say that it is in gods hands now.

Thank you Miss Bobbie Jean.

 

TRANSGENDER5

“LET HER BE A GIRL”

Today I sit and write a tail,
Of a young woman that was a male.
All her life, there was nothing more,
She just wanted to open that door.

She was beautiful when she was young,
But now that the years have come the old has begun.
You never knew what your life will bring
Till you start and try to do anything.

Yes I have often wondered,
What it would have been like over yonder.
She lives here in America where she should be free,
Yet there is only one way that can be.

For her to live her life,
She would have to live the way you think is right.
But why is that to be,
When you did nothing to help her be free.

You wanted her to fight for you,
Yet there was nothing that you would to do.
You see it is easy for you to bury your head,
Then you might as well have been dead.
Open your eyes to the world,
And see her colors, let her be a GIRL.

Hope your life brings you happiness.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream “ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

 

Jenna

 

TRUE COLOR’S

TRUE COLOR’S

   All my life I have the seen different colors and I have learned to enjoy them. Most people never get that, they don’t understand that every race has it’s true colors. If you look back in time, you will see what I mean, It does not matter where you came from, there where colors .
   I was one of those that were lucky enough to grow up in a time in this country when color really was at stake here. You could get hung for being the wrong color, you were separated by color, in everything that you did. No, you can not talk to him or her, not because they were bad, only because they were a different color. I would stand there everyday and say the Pledge A Legions To -A- Flag that was red ,white, and blue, when I was not allowed to talk to another American citizen because she was a different color, excuse me, but as a child living in a foster home working as a slave, along side this child of a different color, she was my friend, I set in her home, and drink coffee with her family, what was so different about that ?
   Correct if I am wrong, but is it not true that if one is born on American soil, one is an American? She was born here just like I was, so I began then to have this problem that I faced everyday.
   I will soon be 66 years old and I still see the hatred from one another about colors, “ When Will We Ever Learn “. mm seems like I heard that somewhere in my life time? Yes, when will we ever learn?
   Like a flower just wanting to bloom we are. There is an enter beauty that can not be shut down, that can not be stopped, shine on, to fill your true colors, as we walk through this life, only to be as that flower, we are blooming for the world to see.         I can not see the future, yet I am no fool. I know that if we continue to see each other as being different for what ever reasons then, yes we are screwed. If we have been making the same mistake for so long and it is still not working for us, then maybe we just might need to change something about our way of thinking, because this just ain’t working.
 I love colors, I watched a movie called “ Color Me Purple, starring Whoopee Goldberg and I never got that out of my head, real touching movie. I have never understood why we feel that need to judge someone because of their true colors, The way I see this is if your an a-hole, it really does not matter what color you are, you are still just an a-hole, lol. Get it ? You don’t have to be a different color for that, trust me.
   I have been lucky enough to have traveled around the world, seeing the true colors of many cu-trues, and I am proud to say that it was an awesome ride for me. I know that I can not live long enough to see the real change that will come in the end, but just maybe one day we can all just be one color, one race, one man kind, called the Human Race, because that is what the creator had in mine when we were created.

We where given the knowledge to overcome anything such as     TRUE COLORS….

Thank you For being colorful.

Hope your life brings you happiness.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream “ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

 

 

BJ

I am Misty Waters  meaning  “The gentle rain that fells on Mother earth”.