Hope that your days are bright and the light from God shows through them.
As you can see I am having troble here dealing with a frined that has said they would get care of me, yet the truth is coming out and now she doesn’t want to dio what neeeds to be done to care form me. Somehow she still doesnot believe that I am as bad off as I make out to be. I started helping her out in the yead lately and now she thinks that I can do that all the time. What she doesn’t get that when I am helping her I am still dealing with the oain and suffering, but I try not to show it as much. All I want is that when I do leave from here is to not have all this pilled up on top of her so that she can start off freast. When I am helping, I am still hurting and sometimes I can’t rvrn move aroundbut thst does not even matter to her.What she doesn’t get, it is my money that is cover all the bills right now and I see no change in that. I have tried to work it out where we may just be able to hold our heads up above water line, but that will take a lot of wrok to do that. I don’t think that she see’s when I paid for something that was muscial, it didn’t matter it beaan hers jusr becauseshe is a munican and even if I paid for it, it is hers now, I see it as I paid for it that still makes it mine, but we will not go there ritgh now. I don’t know why she thinks she can do this on her own.
Now she is refusing to take care of me and doesn’t care where I in up at. My heart is broken and I can’t think clearly anymore, so what do I do from here?
I am not even sure what meds I did take this morning, brcause all I can see is that I want to die and the sooner the better.
It seems to me that right now she is my worst enemy and I don’t know just how much more I can trust her to take care of me. She blames everything on me, because she doesn’t knowe how to tate the blame for herself.
I live as a transwoman ans that too is a problem with her, she thanks that is is all just a game to her. She onlylikes to dress for fun, where I dress to live. I am not sure where thois will end for us, but things are just getting worst.
It doesn’t matter that I love her but it matters to me becauase I have no place else to go. I am asking God to show us through this and try to make it better, not sure how that will work out.
I am very stressed out right now and I have taken more meds then I should have.
Please try to understand where I am at in all this, that you Miss Bobbie Jean.