I Look To God For My Guidance!

 

We all look for something to believe in and hope that we can find what we are looking for. I look to My Lord for what I need to help me get by. When evil thoughts passes through my head I start praying to God to help me make them go away. We all have our own God to believe in and help us make it through each day.

I have said it many times before, that I am in no way prefect by I try hard to believe in what is right and what is wrong. It is not just because my time is coming to it’s end, but I have always believed in God. I know that there has to be something out there watching over me and helping me along the way. Others believe in what they feel is right for them. I have never judged anyone for not believing in God, because I think everyone has a choice to make and it is their choice, not mine. I can only control what I believe in.

I have always believed in God and always knew that he was with me because he showed me that he was when he protected me from the evil that was out there. When I knew that I had to do something that I needed him to help me with, he would put me in his hands and show me the light so that I would know what I was doing was right. He never let me down when I needed him around. There were times that I just knew that if it were not for him I would not be here today. He guided me down that road I chose to take and as for as I know God never made any mistakes, not even with me.

I truly believe that the only reason I came home from Vietnam was because it was not my time to go so he did not let me go. I am still here because of him, even though I might not know why, but I guest it is not my time to die. I know that when I get to feeling real down and not, I just sit here and try to write. He gives me the strength and the courage that I need to still do this. I can’t go out into the public anymore like I did before but at least I can still write what I feel and know about. Hoping that some how I to can inspire someone to be a better person. I know that I have become a better person just by getting to know God better. I pray more now and talk with him more also. I know that he will not keep me from dying, but Just maybe help will make it easier on me when I have to go. So with that in mind I will let you go at this time. Believe in what or who you want to, that is up to you. I know that I believe in The God that I know.

So with my love and friendship I will just say good day to you my friend.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean with dream of a better tomorrow.

 

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Good morning to my friends here.

 

Hope that your days are bright and the light from God shows through them.

As you can see I am having troble here dealing with a frined that has said they would get care of me, yet the truth is coming out and now she doesn’t want to dio what neeeds to be done to care form me. Somehow she still doesnot believe that I am as bad off as I make out to be. I started helping her out in the yead lately and now she thinks that I can do that all the time. What she doesn’t get that when I am helping her I am still dealing with the oain and suffering, but I try not to show it as much. All I want is that when I do leave from here is to not have all this pilled up on top of her so that she can start off freast. When I am helping, I am still hurting and sometimes I can’t rvrn move aroundbut thst does not even matter to her.What she doesn’t get, it is my money that is cover all the bills right now and I see no change in that. I have tried to work it out where we may just be able to hold our heads up above water line, but that will take a lot of wrok to do that. I don’t think that she see’s when I paid for something that was muscial, it didn’t matter it beaan hers jusr becauseshe is a munican and even if I paid for it, it is hers now, I see it as I paid for it that still makes it mine, but we will not go there ritgh now. I don’t know why she thinks she can do this on her own.

Now she is refusing to take care of me and doesn’t care where I in up at. My heart is broken and I can’t think clearly anymore, so what do I do from here?

I am not even sure what meds I did take this morning, brcause all I can see is that I want to die and the sooner the better.

It seems to me that right now she is my worst enemy and I don’t know just how much more I can trust her to take care of me. She blames everything on me, because she doesn’t knowe how to tate the blame for herself.

I live as a transwoman ans that too is a problem with her, she thanks that is is all just a game to her. She onlylikes to dress for fun, where I dress to live. I am not sure where thois will end for us, but things are just getting worst.

It doesn’t matter that I love her but it matters to me becauase I have no place else to go. I am asking God to show us through this and try to make it better, not sure how that will work out.

I am very stressed out right now and I have taken more meds then I should have.

Please try to understand where I am at in all this, that you Miss Bobbie Jean.

Good Morning.

Good morning,

I truly hope that you are having a beautiful day. There is nothing better then life itself. We are lucky to live here where everyone is to live free, but there is still a group of people that are not allow to live free here. I am a transgendered person trying my best to show that we are not the ones you need to be worried about. It seems to me that the ones you least expect are the ones that are doing the wrong, not trans people. When i go into a bath room, i am going there to pee not to see, hell i hope no one is in the damn thing. I have tried for years to ask for help from the lgbt community and i have never heard from them unless they where asking for money. i had 16 tires cut in my yard and the law told me it was my fault, because i should have known better then to dress like this. the channel ten new came and all they told the public was that there is this man in a dress living at (my address) so there are no laws here to protect me. I lose hundreds of dollars on just tries. Life as a trans can be good in the right place, but i was and still is not in the right place, but it is the place for me to be. I was setting up at the flea market and i could hear what people where saying. I have been called about everything they could think of. I have been beat and raped. But i have not stop trying to show people that we still have to live, we have the right to live and i for one have earned that right to live my life the way i have chosen to, i have never tried to tell anyone how to live their life.

I don’t believe in discrimination or bigotry that is what we need to fear, because that’s what we have running this country now.

The point I am trying to make here is that We are people to, just kie you. I know that I will not have the chance to see it all come together, but one day it will, may God bless you and help you to understand that I wanted and need to be a woman, not a man.

Thank you for your time, if you feel there is something you want to know, if I can help I would be honored to help.

Have a Blessed day as I am on my way, I am Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson and I am a Trans.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream.

“ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

“The Evening Has Come”

“The Evening  Has Come”

As I walk alone the shore ,
I was waiting for you to knock on my door.

I  have you in my dreams,
But wishing you were here it seems.

You have been in my life,
Only wishing I could have been your wife.

For me , my time has pass,
But the Love I have for you will always last.

It is for you, that I am true,
But sometimes ,even I don’t know what to do.

Your love comes to me from afar,
 Yet I will always Love no matter where you are.

Hope your life brings you happiness.

I am Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream “ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE”

 

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Good morning everyone.

Good morning everyone.
Sometimes I may post something that you don’t understand and you are afraid to say anything. Well I do sometimes get right to the point of things, but remember I am at the end of this life here on earth, soon I will not be here. I believe that I have a right to say what I need to say and if I can’t deal with somethings then I just say what I feel. I see where everyone here is dealing with their own problems and I try to like or comment on your post, not because I feel like I have to, it is because of what you posted. I more then likely miss more then I see, because sometimes I can’t even sit here without passing out. For me to be here online, I have to be in pain, so that I am able to write anything. I am sure that it is hard to read some of my words, but this is all I have left in this world and that is you. You are my family, my friends and the ones I love the most in my life. I thank you for being here for me. I really don’t want to die alone.

Miss Bobbie

Shot Me!LOL

Can someone just shot me? I have been up since 5 and it has taken me this long just to get to my computer(11:30). I have taken 4 pain pills. and two shots of morphine, with a three other pain meds, but I still not have gotten ahead of my pain. this is so rough, I can’t even stand much less walk on my foot. I hate to say this, but right now, I can not help but feel that dying would be easier. I can’t do anything with the pain. I had to ask my friend to feed me, because I din’t have the strength to pick up my spoon. This really sucks. I am sorry that this is all I have this morning, I need a break from this, I guest I will have to let them put me in the Wilson House to try and get ahead of my pain and put me where I need to be, F**Ked up. It seems like that is the only way for me to go now, at least when I am F**ked up I don’t feel the pain. SORRY for my depressed self.

 

Miss Bobbie

Another Day

Though I would let you guys know what’s going on with me. My nurse came over just a little bit ago and sent a couple of pictures of my foot to the doc. and told him that is was getting worst, so he doubled my morphine and my pain pills to try to help me deal with it. They are going to get me some kind of pain patch to see if it will help, something to last longer then my pills.
I am glad to be with Hospice right now, they have been making this dying thing a lot easier. My nurse wants me to go into the Hospice house, I asked her to give me a day or two, then I’ll go in. I am afraid to go in, because I might not come out, walking anyway,LOL But I really want to say Thank you to the people from Hospice.

Love you guys…Remember life is way to short to FU*K it up, do it right now, don’t wait any longer, because it just may be two damn late.