I know I have not posted anything here in a while, but my life is so messed up now that I am not sure which way to turn. As you know I have lived as a transwoman for a long time and I had never let it bother me, what others though of me, but here lately it has really been getting to me. Because of my health and the fact that death is knocking at my door, I have been trying to put the pieces back together with my family and friends. But it does not look like it is working out very well for me. They still seem to be ashamed of what I am and still do not want to have anything to do with me. I can see it now, the News Paper will say that I am survived by no one because no one wants to be a part of my life.
I have tried hard to do the right thing and talk to them but they refuse to talk to me, so all I can do now is to forgive them for saying that I was a disgrace to their lives and to the family.
Well the way I see this is that I did what I felt I had to do to live and what they though of me did not matter, yes it does hurt me that they feel that way, but there is nothing I can do about what they think, I can only control myself, not them.
I know that what I did was for my own good and I am sure that God will still love me for me, God does not judge me for wearing a dress, he will judge me for the rest of what I have done and for that I ask him for forgiveness, and that is all I can do there.
I guest the point I am trying to make here is that no matter what you do, someone will want to judge you. I am glad that I lived the way I did, but it had a cost, now I am alone at the end of my life and will die alone. So before you make a choice as I did, you maybe should really think it out a little better then I did. Although I would do it all again if it came down to it.
I am not sorry for the life I lived, but I am glad that I am able to forgive.
Thank you for being here for me and hope that you can live your life free.
My friends on Facebook will not even share anything I post with my picture on it, and they are suppose to be friends.
Hoping I’ve inspired you as I give praise to My Lord.
Written by Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson
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