So you say I have moods problems. Well first I’ll ask who out there has never had mood swings? What about you, you can sit there and tell me that you have never had a moody day or felt like you were alone or you were dealing with things out of your control. Go ahead make like you never had one.
No one is prefect and if they are there have to be a God or something, because they sure ain’t human. Yes I have mood swings everyday of my life. I can be passed out and wake up not knowing where I am or who is there when I wake up gasping for air. Yes I am facing my own death here and everyday I found it just getting worst. Each time I write a story it just may be my last one. You think that this is easy for me to do, sure it’s only typing a few words down and getting everything ready to go with those words. Just think you are me for a little while. You can’t move because your heart is so weak that anything you try to do makes it work harder and then you have to stop because it starts to hurt and the pain runs up your arm and you are sitting there knowing that there is nothing anyone can do for you. Everyday you are having to take meds. Like Morphine and Percocet and 10 other meds just to keep the pain down and be able to breath some. You are just waiting for that last breathe to come. You are so weak that you really would be just doing nothing but feeling sorry for yourself. Now I don’t feel sorry for myself for doing what I have done in my life. I was not ever helped by any group and community for standing up for gay rights. Instead I was shunned by them all because I was not rick or famous, I am just somebody writing something on their wall on their profile. Saying what I feel and how I feel. This is an open book dairy that I have chosen to allow you to see, I will not beg anyone to be my friend, I will not judge anyone for living their life, I will not count on you or anyone else, because there is a difference between true friends and fake friends. When I see a post and someone is down, I think that is the post that a friend steps in to try and say something that will bring them up. That’s what true friends do for each other.
So Yes I have mood swings, Who wouldn’t if they were in my shoes, that’s another thing, I can’t even wear shoes but that doesn’t matter to you because you don’t have that problem, do you?
I am stopping now, and I am not sure if I will write anymore. I think that it is time for me to think about me, because I really don’t think it makes a difference in anyone else’s life whether I live or die.
Right now I am going to deal with this dying thing and the stress that you have put on me because I am trying to make it right for you, to be you.
Thank you and like I said I am not sure if I’ll be back again.
Miss Bobbie Jean,
“I HAD A DREAM”
“OF ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE, BUT NOW I SEE THAT THERE IS NO PLACE FOR THIS TO BE”