Today is Sunday here where I live and today is the day that most people try to give Thanks to God and allow themselves to feel that they are right in what ever God has chosen for them. I have tried to know God as my survivor and trust that he will take me home when my days end here. Today I am wondering why I lost a friend on here that I knew personally. She came by my home to visit time to time, but something happened and now she doesn’t come anymore. Part of me miss’s her, but part of me knew that something was wrong with that friendship. I am living my last days here and I don’t need anyone that would hurt me in any way. I am sorry that I lost her and I have ask God why, but I am sure that it is for the best, because I put my trust that God is not going to let anyone hurt me. I have been thinking about what should I be thinking about at this point. I believe that one should think about the good things that have come to be in their lives. The more one thinks about the good times, the more will come to mind. I was only remembering the bad times and my heart was full of hatred for anyone that I did not feel right about. For so long I had been disrespected and abused here, that I could only see the hatred. How that I have done my best to try it Gods way, that I have come to know that, yes we are all different from each other, and yes we all have the right to not like what someone else is doing, but we do not have the right to judge them. Maybe something happen in their life to make them the way they are, that’s what happen to me here. When I was told that I could not live my life as a woman, I did everything I could to make that happen. Today I can say I have lived as a woman and done it well. I have also come to try and forgive those that hated me so much. “Please forgive them because they know not what they do” Well I think I” ll let it go for now and hope that your life is as beautiful as a flower in the spring. Love you all…..Big and tall, Thin and small, I love you all. Miss Bobbie Jean.
I have lived most of my life as you see me today, I would not have had it any other way. They say that we don’t have a choice to live this way, All I know is that I made this choice to live like this today.
I knew that things would be rough, As I knew that I would have to be tough. I know that I could not do it on my own, So I have ask God to help me play this tone.
There is a lot of you, You don’t know what to do. You try to treat me with no respect, If you do, that’s what you’ll get.
I am a transgender person, I am not a Tranny or a Shemale, nor am I a whore that you think you can control. And most of all, I am not a man, so don’t try to treat me as one. If you want to chat with me, please show me the respect that you want, you see. I am not here just for your sexual needs. I am here for friendship and love. But most of all I am here to share with you Gods love from above. Thank you for being my friend, hope you last till my end. Miss Bobbie.
Sometimes as a sit here trying to feel what it is I want to write about, I just have to start writing and see what comes up. I have days that are good and some that are bad. On a good day I can get myself together and make my face up to look my best and try to write some as I chat with friends on here. I will eat good that day and try to help my friend and caregiver do what I can do, like helping with dinner or the dishes after dinner, I know it’s not much, but that is what I call a good day for me. Now a bad day is like I can’t get myself together and I can’t make myself up and have a real hard time even holding my head up. It’s like all I can do is try to sleep so I don’t have to deal with my life as it is. I never wanted to get this bad off before I died. I was hoping that I would just die in the night or have a stroke and that would be the end. I am sure that God knows what he is doing and that he has my life planed out for me. I know that it is only God that can keep me alive right now. My heart Doctor told me that he had never had a patient like me, that he had not seen anyone live as long as I have with my heart in the shape it’s in. Well I believe that God as blessed me with his love and wants me here for now. I leave my life in his hands, because I need to be there. I know that I have not been a perfect human being and I have sinned a time or two, but I was also giving the Son of God, who died to forgive me for my sins. He was called Jesus and I feel like now is my time to put my trust in God for he is my Father also. Well I think that I will stop for now and say thank you for your support and your love, because the love I share with you comes from above. Thank you, Miss Bobbie Jean
When my time has come and I die, Please, I don’t want you to cry. I want you to remember me, Just being the best I could be.
I have tried to do my best, I will welcome my time to rest. I don’t want you to shed your tears, I will be with you for many years.
For the things that I write about, They were the things in my life,no doubt I have always tried to be true to you, Lying is not something I do.
My writings will always be here, In your memory they will always be near. I know that I will miss you when I am gone, Sorry, but my time has come for me to move on.
Good evening to you all and if you have made it this far down, I thank you for reading what I have written. I enjoy writing and as much as it does for you it does for me, because writing gives me a place and a way to say just how I feel or what I am thinking about. I can only hope in my wildness dreams that others will like what I write, it is all I have left to give you. I love to all because you all have become part of my life here.
Remember to always be the best you can be, but also remember that no one is prefect, we all make mistakes, do your best and God will take care of the rest.
Written by Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream ” One race called the human race”
Good evening everyone, here’s hoping that you are doing your best to stay out of trouble, lol I have been sitting around thinking about some of the carp that I have had to deal with because I have chosen to live my life as a transwoman and not a man. I can still remember when I had to dress as one to live till I found that I could not take living that way any longer. I hated myself as a man and I just knew that I could live a better life as a woman, so that is what I done. I gave away all my male clothes to others and I only dressed as a woman from that point on. It did not matter where I had to go, I went as a woman. I even had to go to court, so I dressed up nice and clean, and the judge had to ask me if I was male or female because at that time my name was still a males name. I just found it better for me to make a point if I was dressed the part. A knight is not a knight with his armor. Just like a lake is not a lake with out the water. I could not stand for the right’s of transwomen if I did not dress as one. I knew that there would be hardships and that a lot of people would not understand, just didn’t know there would be so damn many of them. I live in a state where there are over 50 hate groups here and I am on the top of everyone’s list, I don’t think they like me every much here. I have survive only with the help of God, because I have never seen anyone stand with me out there. Must people will not have anything to do with me because someone will think that they are gay. Hell I don’t even call myself gay, I am a transwoman, not a man wanting a man. I love men, but in a different way then someone being gay. I am more bisexual then anything, I just like sex, or I did anyway, with my health being what it is now, I am lucky that I can still think about sex. Anyway, even though it has been a hard road that I have traveled on to get here, I would not change anything in my life, because if I did, then I wouldn’t have anything to write about.
Here’s hoping your life is full of pleasure and joy comes to you in many forms.
P.S. Never let anyone try to change who you really are, be yourself and be true to others and they will respect you more for it. I am in a wheel chair most of my days now, but I still dress as a woman, because that is what I am, and will dress this way till I die.
I know that soon my time will end, but yet I still find myself looking for that true love. I am only human and just for once, I would like that feel that before I die. Someone that will understand me and try to help me deal with all this that has been put before me. It is very hard to endure all this and sometimes it is just so overwhelming that I need someone just to talk to, not about sex, but about us. I think someone has said “To know you is to love you“. I want to learn about what you like and share with you my life. To know that you will be there when I need you the most, someone to lay my head on when I am feeling down. I love to talk, so I need someone who is willing to listen. Yes for now it would be about me getting ready for my passing, but to enjoy the days that we share together. that would be what I would like to find in a true lover.
Thank you again and again for reading what I write about, because I write for you, that’s what I do. I am Miss Bobbie Jean.