It is sad that for me to get a little rest, that I have to dope myself up to the point where I pass out just to go to sleep. They are increasing my meds. so that I stop feeling the pain, but at that point I can’t do anything else, like function. It is hard to try to write or anything when I am that way. I have been signing the papers that tells them what to do when my time comes to pass and they are to do nothing to try and keep me alive, no machines or anything, just let me go. I don’t want to live with tubes in me just to breath, I just want to go as painless as possible.