Every day I try hard to deal with many things in my life. Today I would like to talk about (Being Passable). That is what Transgender people try hard to do and some pay big money to try and make that happen.
I used to always worry about someone knowing what I was, male or female, and I thought that it would be better if I could pass as a women. I live here in The South, in a place called Albany Ga. Here there are not but a handful of Transgender people that will walk out in public here.
I take one hell of a chance every time I walk out of my home. Because the more passable I am the more risk I take, if I look real good and pass as a women, than a man comes up to me and starts to talk to me,
What do I do then?
I have to say something.
I will try to be nice.
I always watch myself about being soft in the way I talk.
If he does not stop there, but wants to get to know me more…what is it that I should do then?
I have learned that the truth is always the best way to show yourself to the public. If it gets to that point, I will then ask this gentleman if he knows just what I am. I do not want to lie to someone or to show myself off as anything other than what I am.
I am A Transgender male to female and I am proud of myself for getting this far in my life.
I am 65 years old and every day I live with the fact that I should have died a long time ago. I have always wondered just what is my purpose in life, I think that I may have found it, I love to talk and writing is like making music to me.
I have found that it is not a matter of whether or not I am passable, the truth is I am just a man in a dress to the most of you, and there is nothing I can do about that. I have come to love myself, as I am. I am not a man any more; I have crossed the line of no turning back. I can never go in public without a top on, that’s for sure.
Where we live, I have known people like myself that have stepped into that world where they were thought to be a real woman, when the guys found out that she was not a woman, it cost her the only life that she had, her own. She was beaten and left for dead at an old school house where she lived, not more than 30 miles from where I live today.
Jacqueline and I went to town today and had to get some food, we just needed to get out for a few. She looked real nice today with her brown outfit on. She is so lovely, sometimes I find myself just watching her. She is so much a lady, if I were a man; she would most surely be my woman.
She has this natural look about her that she could pass as a woman, but she does not see things the way I do, she has not had to deal with all the hate that I have had to deal with over the 30 years I have been dressing like this, I know that I am not always passable, but I know that I am Beautiful.
I don’t try as hard any more to be passable, because I now tell everyone that I am a Transgender person and I am proud of my life.
There are times when I wish that I had not chosen the path that I have, but then if I had not, I would not be me.
I would not have met this Beautiful young woman. She is the one that fills my need for love.
Sometimes we now walk out in public and I will always try my best to protect her, I really don’t care if I have to act like a man to do so.
So the thought for the day is that you don’t need to be what you are not, just to be passable, because if you show the truth about yourself to others, then and only then will you become passable, because the most important people in your life will see you as you are…Beautiful
The point here is just be the best that you can be
Written by Bobbie Jean Chiasson
The stories that I write are true and about me and what I have to deal with in my day to day life. It is about the things that I believe in and it is only my point of view. It has nothing to do with you as you are free to live the life style that you chose to live. It is an open book diary that I have chosen to share with you.
Love you all my friends.