Sometimes we look to others to find inspiration. I know that sometimes it is hard to find that what we all need so bad. It does not come easy in this world we share these days, because there is so much hatred around about anything, like gender, color or race, which puts us all in the spot light.

As a writer and a dreamer, I have always looked for the best in others and have held to that as much as possible, even though that is hard to do most of the time. I try to see what good as come from what this person has done for those in their community and if they have done their best to help others. We all have it in us to do things that can and will benefit others in their life’s, no matter how small it may seen to be.

I try to say something that helps others to get by and try to do better for themselves, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I have been through all kinds of dealings that have put me into a state of depression and I have had to deal with it on my own, because there was no one there for me. I have tried all kinds of meds and at the time, they did nothing for me, it was only my strength that carried me through it. We all share the same strength inside each and everyone of us, some of us are stronger then others so it makes it easier to deal with, but you can do it just as well as we can. My strength comes from believing in God and knowing that he has my back. It does not matter how bad things get, if I pray and believe hard enough he will carry me through whatever I have to deal with, as he will for you. You may not believe in God as I see him to be, but I am sure that you believe in something, so give your trust to whom ever it may be.

I trust that he will show me the way to my happiness and that when my time comes to an end, that he will be there for me, just as he will be there for you. I have found that God is within each and everyone of us, he is our strength and courage, he helps us to endure all that we endure no matter how painful it may be. Faith is a powerful thing if you have true faith.

I know that my time is coming to an end and there is nothing felt anyone can do to help me other then to just make it easier for me to deal with, that is why I have to take so many meds, they are not there to curl me, but just to help me deal with dying. When it get’s to the point where I can not breath for myself all they will do is give me enough morphine to knot me out so I may just pass in my sleep, there will be no machines to help me or no hospital to go to, it will just be over for me. I know that it will not be easy for me, but that is the way it has to be. With my heart infraction down to less then 15% there is nothing they will be able to do to help me, my heart will just stop, it will be over, the end. With that in mind I should be mad at the world, but it is not the worlds fault, it is my own fault. Maybe if I had not lived such a stressful life or may if I had never smoked my life would have been better, but just maybe it was all just meant to be this way.

Today I write to try and see if there is any hope that I can give to you or anyone else out there, maybe by showing the strength and courage that is given to me from God, that someone can benefit from my words.

All I can tell you is there is always hope and there is always someone out there willing to talk with you about what you are dealing with. They are called counselors and they help others like yourself.

Remember to always try and still hopeful and believe that there is some higher force that keeps us moving forward, I call him God.

Be as blessed as I feel I am because when I go, I know I will be sitting with him.

Thank you, Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream of a better world, one day at a time…



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