It seems like it is getting harder for me to do the simple things in life, like just breathing. It’s becoming battle in it self. I guest it will just get worst from here on out. Makes it hard to want to try and do anything anymore, bout all I can do is take my meds, which I am having to take more often now just to help me breath easier, sometimes it works and sometime it doesn’t. Last night my friend cooked us a steak to share with a baked potato, but the only thing I could eat was the potato. I tried to cut up my steak, but realized I was to weak to do that, so she cut me a piece off and I couldn’t even chew it up to eat so I just gave up on it.
When I do get to fall asleep, it’s only for like an hour or so then I am fighting for that breath of air again.
Sometimes I can not help but wonder, “Why does God keep me here”? What is it that I have not done that he feels that I need to still be here for. Maybe I have not proven myself to him and he feels that I am not ready yet. Maybe there is still something I need to do or say. Maybe it is just a test to see what and how much I would endure just to be with him or maybe I just have not earned my wings yet.
All I know is that as long as I am still here, I must be brave and strong. I will not allow depression to overcome me and have it’s way. I believe that depression is a product of Satan and I will not allow Satan to have his way with me, it doesn’t matter how much suffering I have to endure.
Not only does my soul belong to God, but so does my heart.
Remember to try and always stand strong in what you believe in, because that’s what it takes to win in the end.
Please don’t feel sadness for me, because soon I’ll be with the Lord you’ll see.
Hope that your day is blessed and remember to love thou neighbor as you would want him to love you.
Miss Bobbie Jean