“Being Thankful”

Being Thankful”

“This is the season to be thankful for what we have, because whether we believe it or don’t see it, there are those that have nothing.”

Miss Bobbie Jean

Hope that all is well for you, sorry I have not been on for a while, but most of my time now is spent laying in bed. I am one that is truly thankful for what I do have and right now that is life itself. For a while I was having problems with going to bed because I was afraid of waking up and not being able to breath, but I have come to know that there is nothing I can do about that anymore, so now I am not so afraid. I really need my rest because it makes living easier for me. I am on my oxygen pretty much 24/7 now and having to do my inhalers all day.

I was able to eat a little turkey for dinner, not much of anything else, but my friend made a nice dinner for us and I am glad that she is still here for me. For all those of you that do or have been a caretaker for someone, I thank you as well, because I have learned that is takes a special kind of person to do that for someone else. I had to do it for someone that I cared about for eight years and for the last two years I even had to change my life just to give her the best years of her life and her freedom as well, so I know what it takes to be a caregiver. I know that without her help I would more then likely be in a nursing home and I would have nothing today.

Well I think I’ll stop here because just this little bit of writing has made me tried. You guys know that without all of you here, I would have no real friends or family, I am thankful for having all of you in my life at the end of my time here on earth. If I was to go and not be on here anymore know this that one day I will see you again, in heaven. Love you all.

“Happy Holidays”

Miss Bobbie Jean.

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End Of Times Are Coming!

Just letting you guys know that I am still here, just not able to breath or find the strength needed to write anything, I couldn’t even eat much today, so tried of fighting for every breath I take.

 

Carin Farmer Love you sweetie!
Roxanne Wimberley Perry
Roxanne Wimberley Perry Hang in there honey. 🙏👭
Traci Elizabeth Lollar Resendiz
Traci Elizabeth Lollar ResendizHope it was better for you
Sorry it took so long to get back to you guys, my nurse came by to check on me and she told me that all they can do now is try to make me as comfortable as possible. She said not to try and done anything because all it would do is make me weaker and That I didn’t need that right now.She said that she would be talking with the group tomorrow about my condition She is going to tell them that I should be put on morphine for pain, because the pain does not help out my condition, it just makes it harder.That also say that I need to try and only eat soft foods because I can’t swallow like I used to.I know that I should not feel depressed about all this, but it is so hard not to. I can only say that I am truly glad to have met those of you that I have, Thanks for being my friend. Miss Bobbie Jean.

Mother!

Mother!
Life as we know it has a beginning and an ending, we live knowing this, but when someone tells you that your time is ending, kinda change’s things for you. Now you have some idea as to just how long you have left, at that point all you can do is hope that you have all your little ducks in a row. One may find that it is not so easy to do or say the right thing to a loved one, or maybe things are just better off left alone. I have tried many times to tell my Mother that I have forgiven her for the mistakes that she made with me, yet it always comes back to where I am to blame for all this hatred coming from my family. I am not sure how, or maybe what I did to cause all that hate. We never were a real family in the first place, because my “Mother” chose to give us away to free herself from the burden of taking care of us, yet without any kind of remorse does she admit to doing any harm to me. When I finally chose to tell her about what kind of person I am, she told everyone in the family that I was a queer or fagot because that is what I showed them to be, yet never did she try to understand the word “Transgender”, not even checking it out to see what it is about because being a trans does not make you anything else but that. One does not have to be “gay” to be a transperson. Sure I am Bisexual and I have no problems with that, because that is all I can be, nothing more, but nothing less because I feel that love and companionship are part of our lives and we all need that, no one really likes to be alone all the time, it is good to have others in your life. So I am back to the same place I was, what more can I do to try and get through to my mother that I was not the one that made the hatred that lives in our family, that all I wanted is to be the me I am suppose to be, weather or not she approves of what I have become, I am still her “SON” and as a ‘Mother “ she is boned by her so called Christian belief to love and protect me, then why does she chose to shun me and call me ‘Satan” himself.

I have lived this life more then I have lived as a male, yet she can’t put her head around that. All I can do at this point in my life is to try and understand what she is dealing with. Maybe she does not know what a transperson really is and don’t want to know, so there is nothing I can do about that but move on. I ask you ,”What would you do now?” How would you handle all this, or would you just do nothing? I can’t believe that is all I can do, but not sure just how to move in that direction. What can I say after all that has past between us. I really don’t want to die with her hating me, yet I don’t want to feel that I just gave in to please her. Like I have said so many times in my writing, always know your true path before you start that walk on your journey of life. Be sure that you know what there is to gain, yet always know what you have to lose.

Now I can only wish I had a real family, because I feel it is too late to have anything else.

Thank you for taking the time to read what I write about, even though sometimes I get lose in my words, but dealing with the lack of oxygen, sometimes it is just hard for me to think. I know that my time is not worth anything to anyone but myself and I ask God just for a little more time to spend with you. I thank him everyday for that and I love all you guys the same, with an open mind and an open heart.

Written by someone with a dream, “One race called the human race.”

Written by Miss Bobbie Jean.
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AWAKEN!

Awaken!

As I had awaken to see your light,

I know now that I have made it through another night.

Last night, as I fell asleep,

I ask you, My soul to keep.

 

Everyday I pray that you will show me the way,

Yes it is you that gives me every breath I take.

As my time comes to an end,

I find that I am yours and only yours in the end.

 

Little did I know that my life would end so soon,

I quest I’ll be marching to a different tune.

I have now put my trust in you,

I am sure you will tell me what to do.

 

Sometime I am not able to write much, even though all I have to do is sit here, but at that it is hard for me to do now days, because I don’t have the strength to do much of anything for myself, so when I am able to try and at least stat dinner, but maybe not be able to finish it, it still gives me some sort of hope. I am not hopeful for some kind of miracle or anything like that, all I am hoping for is just another day. All I have left to give anyone is my words and at this point I need to chose them wisely. I have come to learn a lot as I have sat here thinking and dealing with all this that is happening to me, I can never tell when I will be ok anymore, because it is mostly all bad to deal with, even just living is a problem now. All and the best I can hope for is that my words mean something to you and that maybe you can get some kind of inspiration for what I write about. As I have said many times in the past, I am not a perfect human being, yet who really is? I have had to learn by my own mistake and yes I have made a few or more in this life, but I have also done my best to be ready to move on to my next life, A life with my creator, My God.

What I have learned the most is that we don’t have to be perfect in this life to get to live in the next one, all we have to do is our best, that is all that he has asked of us, so with that in mine, remember just your best is all that you can be.

I am yours till my end, Miss Bobbie Jean, with a dream of “One race called the human race.”

My Lord!

My Lord!

As I sit here finding it hard to breath,
I still feel the need to give.
All I have is my stores to tell,
Hope that will keep me from hell.

I have trusted in the Lord,
All he ever ask of me was to be the best I could be.
I hope that I have made him proud,
That way I may sit next to him when I die.

I feel that I have done what he ask,
As I sit here and visit my past.
Lord I know that your love is true,
Soon I will be sitting next to you.

Miss Bobbie