Please forgive me for showing signs of weakness.
Sometimes even the strongest of us show signs of weakness in our words and actions. That is what I did last Saturday morning and now I ask that you may find it in your heart to forgive me for that. Not always can one be brave and strong like we would want the world to see us. Sometimes we to can not take what life throws at us yet, we know better. I am the one that has chosen the path that I walk and only I can do anything about that. It is for me to either better my life or do nothing and when that happens nothing is done.
Sometimes one may find it difficult to understand why people like me walk this path in their life, to be stronger and braver than others around them, or just maybe the path chooses them. Which ever the case may be this is my path and I will walk it to the best of my ability, no mater where it leads me or how it may end. I truly believe that God leads me down this path and as he does I shall follow him. Like the song says “I will follow him wherever he may go”.
Moving onward, Saturday I found myself in a bad way and I allowed myself to become down and the depression to take over my life, that way showing weakness and that is not like me to do. I can not afford to do that because I value life way too much for that. It is for me to stand tall and be strong for those who can not stand up for themselves. It is for me to be there when they need me the most in their life. What does it look like when the teacher cannot teach? I live and I write to try and inspire others to be a better human being and somehow I can only feel that I may have allowed myself to let some of you down, please I ask for your forgiveness for that and I will do everything in “MY” power to not allow that to happen again, not saying that I will never feel that way again, only saying that I will try not to do so. I am not a “God” and I am a long way from being a prefect human being, nor am I saying that I am better than anyone else here, just saying I know better than to allow myself anything more than what I have to give to you.
I feel that God has given me this gift and this chance to share with you the teachings of life and for the time he gives me the strength to sit here and write it all down for you to read and learn by my mistakes. Sometimes it is very hard to sit here and even type anymore, because my hands and fingers hurt so bad, but still I feel like it is what he wants me to do, be here for you.
I could sit here and just tell you about my heath problems, but all that is beside the point, I know for a fact that my time grows closer to an end everyday I am here, so it is for me to try and help others in that time that he gives me. I believe that my time would be better spent trying to tell you that life must move forward, no matter what is going on today in your life, tomorrow is another day and the light of God shall shine through for you no matter how bad it may be. Look to him for your hope and hope with help shall be there for you. Too many of our brothers and sister have given up their hopes and dreams because they think no one cares, well that is a mistake, because there are those of us that care more than you think. Not always can someone close to you can help you, sometimes it takes a total stranger to step into your life to help you, trust in others as you would have them trust in you. Allow them the chance to help, maybe just by talking to them or just being there even helps. When you know someone is there things kind of change, because then you are not as alone as you think you might be. Reach out, there will be a hand just waiting to reach back.
This was written by someone that was born into this world as an unwanted child, who has fought in an unwanted war, and has lived an unwanted life style by so many, yes I to battle with depression everyday of my life, but I never give up that hope of a better tomorrow, because I trust that God is there for me as he is there for you. I have a dream, for I am Bobbie Jean, of one race called the “Human Race”, thank you for you time.
Remember that no matter what has brought the depression upon you , it will shine better in the days to come, so don’t do anything that you may regret today, there is always another day.
Written by Bobbie Jean for “LIVING AS A TRANSGENDER” and
“NEVER GIVE UP” which are both brought to you by…
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