Please forgive me for showing signs of weakness.

Please forgive me for showing signs of weakness.

Sometimes even the strongest of us show signs of weakness in our words and actions. That is what I did last Saturday morning and now I ask that you may find it in your heart to forgive me for that. Not always can one be brave and strong like we would want the world to see us. Sometimes we to can not take what life throws at us yet, we know better. I am the one that has chosen the path that I walk and only I can do anything about that. It is for me to either better my life or do nothing and when that happens nothing is done.
Sometimes one may find it difficult to understand why people like me walk this path in their life, to be stronger and braver than others around them, or just maybe the path chooses them. Which ever the case may be this is my path and I will walk it to the best of my ability, no mater where it leads me or how it may end. I truly believe that God leads me down this path and as he does I shall follow him. Like the song says “I will follow him wherever he may go”.
Moving onward, Saturday I found myself in a bad way and I allowed myself to become down and the depression to take over my life, that way showing weakness and that is not like me to do. I can not afford to do that because I value life way too much for that. It is for me to stand tall and be strong for those who can not stand up for themselves. It is for me to be there when they need me the most in their life. What does it look like when the teacher cannot teach? I live and I write to try and inspire others to be a better human being and somehow I can only feel that I may have allowed myself to let some of you down, please I ask for your forgiveness for that and I will do everything in “MY” power to not allow that to happen again, not saying that I will never feel that way again, only saying that I will try not to do so. I am not a “God” and I am a long way from being a prefect human being, nor am I saying that I am better than anyone else here, just saying I know better than to allow myself anything more than what I have to give to you.
I feel that God has given me this gift and this chance to share with you the teachings of life and for the time he gives me the strength to sit here and write it all down for you to read and learn by my mistakes. Sometimes it is very hard to sit here and even type anymore, because my hands and fingers hurt so bad, but still I feel like it is what he wants me to do, be here for you.
I could sit here and just tell you about my heath problems, but all that is beside the point, I know for a fact that my time grows closer to an end everyday I am here, so it is for me to try and help others in that time that he gives me. I believe that my time would be better spent trying to tell you that life must move forward, no matter what is going on today in your life, tomorrow is another day and the light of God shall shine through for you no matter how bad it may be. Look to him for your hope and hope with help shall be there for you. Too many of our brothers and sister have given up their hopes and dreams because they think no one cares, well that is a mistake, because there are those of us that care more than you think. Not always can someone close to you can help you, sometimes it takes a total stranger to step into your life to help you, trust in others as you would have them trust in you. Allow them the chance to help, maybe just by talking to them or just being there even helps. When you know someone is there things kind of change, because then you are not as alone as you think you might be. Reach out, there will be a hand just waiting to reach back.

This was written by someone that was born into this world as an unwanted child, who has fought in an unwanted war, and has lived an unwanted life style by so many, yes I to battle with depression everyday of my life, but I never give up that hope of a better tomorrow, because I trust that God is there for me as he is there for you. I have a dream, for I am Bobbie Jean, of one race called the “Human Race”, thank you for you time.
PS.
Remember that no matter what has brought the depression upon you , it will shine better in the days to come, so don’t do anything that you may regret today, there is always another day.

Written by Bobbie Jean for “LIVING AS A TRANSGENDER” and
“NEVER GIVE UP” which are both brought to you by…

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“Just My Point of View”

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Just My Point of View”

I have lived my life standing up for the right’s of others, even when I was just a child in a grown up world, but then I did not know what my life was all about. Sure like most kids I though I had a path and I was following my dreams. All I needed was to finish high with my same level and do and be what society wanted be to do and be, then and only then all that would have come to pass. Because I was now turning 15 and did not want to go to school and look like I had just left some red neck barber shop with no hair left on my head like in the Marines, I was told that I had become hard to handle and was being sent back to my real Dad, ( A man whom I had only met once in my life and I did not know him at all, much less as a father figure). This is the place they though would help me straiten my life out. Well because I had to pay rent and buy food for the household, I could not return to high school, I had to work on his plantation, like the rest of the black’s, so I was in the same shoes the salves had walked in, because that is all they were to him. I loss all my dreams and my hopes of ever getting out of this mess I had fallen into. And it all got started with me standing up for a young black girls rights, they could not have removed me from their foster care because of that, so they use the hair cut to do so, saying that I was becoming out of check, not what they wanted. I was suppose to hate the blacks and use them as they were meant to be used, like slaves. Sorry I didn’t get that part because I work right on the side of them everyday, they had become my friends and some even as close to me as family, how could I hate someone like that? Anyway moving on, one does have chose in ones life, all the BS about you don’t have a choice is just that”BS”.

I could have just as easily dressed as a male and never walked out into the public’s eye, keeping it just to the club scene, but that was not how I am. I though that the LBGT community needed help from all of us to spread the word about what we were, Hell all they want and need is how much money can I send them every month, that is all they care about. Unless the story can make the news, it’s not important to them and that’s a true fact. Everyday I can see where someone else in the trans community has been murder yet the community is not saying or doing anything about it. Well moving on…

So, all and all I guest there was a reason for me being here all along. The point is we do have a choice in how we live our lives.

Just My Point of View”.

Miss Bobbie Jean

A day of blessing from God and the power he gives us!

 

Good evening, Had a fair day out at the market today, didn’t make a lot of money but came home with more then we had when we got there so that is better then the other way around, we have been leaving with less, and could very well do it tomorrow, but that is not how we will think of it, LOL… I was really hurting today from my fall and the pain is getting worst as well. I called the nurse on duty tonight at Hospice and she told me to take another pain pill, use a ice pack and go lay down and stay there. She said that maybe I should not go out tomorrow, but you know the answer to that. I had some close friends showed up to check on me and I really love that about these friends, they go out of their way to check on me. But all and all the best thing that happened to me today was finding something. One of my flea market friends came up and told me that she had lose the last and only thing of her husband’s. She had been wearing is wedding ring since he had past away and was about in tears because she had been looking for hours, like 4 or 5 hours with no luck what-so-ever. She had packed up and was ready to go home because she had called her Mon and told her about what had happen, now they were both upset.

Well I said that I would walk down there knowing how much it would hurt, but for some reason God has given me a gift of finding things like that for others, but not for myself. After she had looked around there all day, I walk over there and within five min. I had found her ring, she did not know what to say, just looked at me with tears in her eyes, but the feeling that I saw was well worth me walking there. It was a beautiful ring made of gold with 4 diamonds on the top of it, I am sure it was more then I could ever afford. Now if I was a person, knowing that something like that would have help them get back on their feet again, They could have easily not said anything to her and let her leave and kept the ring, There was never in my mine to even go that way. I used the power that God had given me to find her ring and give it to her. I was so blessed and felt so good about finding it that it just makes me feel awesome that I could do that.. feeling really good about that one guys, I’m saying good night because I’ll be lucky to get any sleep tonight the way I am hurting, love you all and may Gods blessing be as good to you as they were to me today.

Miss Bobbie Jean..

P.S.

Gods will be done.”