All my life I have worked hard at pushing myself to the outer edge of ex-stream just so I would die young and full of life. But all I done was put myself into this position that I am in, so I have no one to blame for this but myself. I cannot blame anyone else and by learning this, I have learned that life is what we make of it. I have always hear about not having a choice in the way I am, but in reality I did have that choice to make and it was mine and mine alone. I was able to hide what I was for years and for the most part life was no different then, then it is now. When I looked like a biker with long hair everywhere, I was told that I should be eating at the truck stop instead of the fine food restaurant because of the way I looked, so it really didn’t matter what I was wearing someone still had a problem with it.
The thing is I have had a full life and I have done more then most will ever do in their lifetime. I have travel around the world, I have been in a war, I have lived and died all in the same day. I have lived in a slave stack, but I also have build a home costing a half a million dollars. I have killed my enemy, but I have also cried for him because he was no different then myself doing what had to be done for no good reasons. I have lived both as a male and a female and had the chance to look and see the reality of life itself.
I have always been where I did everything and more for myself, only to be here today having someone do everything for me now. With a heart beating only at 15%, there is not much that just wears me out, it is as if I had just walked for a couple of miles when in fact all I did was walk across the room with help.
I have never had much in my life, but what I did have I tried to share it with others around me. Even till today I go to the market place just so I can see my friends and try to help someone deal with life and sometimes I am shown what I am really worth. I met this gentlemen out there a few years ago and found out that he was a Marine in Vietnam the same time I was there and today he stands there and hugs me every time he see’s me out there. One day I told him that I was proud of him for the courage that he shows when he did that in public so they all could see, I told him that it took a lot of courage to do that, he laughed at me and said that he didn’t have any courage, it was me that he admired for the courage that I showed mankind. He said that he had never met anyone with so much courage to stand alone here in south Ga. and show my true self. It brought tears to my eyes to hear this and it made me proud to know that I had touched someone so much.
Anyway I have found that life itself is way to short to deal with the little things, they have a way of working themselves out on their own. Less tress, live longer.
Hope that somewhere and somehow you will find happiness today and share it with someone that needs that smile of yours. Be bless in all you do today, that is Gods way.
Written by Miss Bobbie Jean
Be yourself and the world will be yours.