I know that most of what I write about can and is depressing to most of you, but it is about real lives. You may be one of the lucky ones that never have to deal with such meaningless things like depression.
For some of us it is the only life that we have known and it does not matter how hard we try, it never goes away.
Depression does not mean that you are sick, or that there is anything physically wrong with you. Depression can be brought upon you by many means.
Just talked to the nurse at my heart doctor and she said not to give up on them, that were trying to get me in as soon as possible, but not to count on hearing from them till after the first of the year. I wish it would be sooner, but I’ll take what I can get. At least there is still hope, if there is still enough time. I am sure that people wonder why I write about depression a lot, well if you were in my shoes you would be depressed a lot. It is one thing knowing that everyone dies, but when you are told your time is up, chance’s the way you look at things around you. I will miss this place we call home. I know that my life has been harder then most, but I can not help but feel that it was wroth every minute I have spend here on this plant.
God had given me the same chance at life that he gave anyone else. It is not his fault that everything was screwed up. I want to take this time to forgive my enemy’s and to forgive those that felt they were better then me. It is not their fault that they feel this way, it was the way they were brought up to be. Hatred is not something that we are born with in our hearts, it is something that is taught to us by some one who has hated all their life.
I have learned that the true me is what you see, there is nothing more, or nothing less. I am a real transwoman living in a world full of hared all around me and here is where I will die.
People ask me how is it that I look so good when I go out into the public eye? This is what I say to them, “ never let them see you crying, because for some reason, they will think that they have won.” Will I have lived with that reasoning all my life and I believe in it. People are curl and mean, they will take that as a sign of weakness, and we are not weak, are we?
Remember that there is always some one like me that will try to help you deal with your depression and suffering. If only I had the power to remove your suffering from you, I would gladly carry that load. I am not trying to say that I am anything but a child of God and as part of his beliefs it is for us to help thy fellow man, woman, or child to live a better life. After all, we are all looking for the same thing, “Happiness”. Happiness means a lot to a lot of people, it is a matter of living a good life or a bad one. Fill your life with happy things and people, surround yourself with something cheerful. Love is on the other side whether you believe it or not. There is always hope, just like I hope that this defibrillator will help me to live just a little longer, because I still have a lot of work to do, there are still transwomen being murdered everyday. Let us be the ones to try and do something about letting the world know that “TRANS LIVES MATTER” just as much as black’s or anyone else for that matter, we are human beings and all children of God. God did not make any mistake’s when he made people like us, he made us in his own image and he loves us for being the prefect image of him.
With these words, I will move on and try to work with my plants to deal with my depression today. God has a way of giving me something to think about instead of thinking about dying. It makes things better for me. With a love that is truer then the sky’s are blue, is the love I share with you, It is called God’s Love.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson and I have lived a life time in the eyes of God and you can to, just be true to yourself and the rest will follow suit.
Remember that living with a dream is only part of it, living that dream is the rest of the journey.
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This photo is the work of Gods love to us.