As I sit here, I can not but wonder,Have I done all I can do to make this a better place to live as a Transwoman? I am still going out to the flea market to try and deal with the have not’s. They are the people that have nothing left at home, because they have been such assholes that even their family wants nothing to do with them. I feel sorry for them, because all they have left in their lives to look forward too, is going out to the flea market and down others, just because they are different. It has been hard on me, because now I can’t even set my stuff up. My friend and care giver comes to help me set up so all I have to do is deal with the public, which makes my day a lot better. I am glad that God allows me each day that he does. I hate when I am so sick that I can’t do anything, but I do what I can when I can. I have been a little on the depressed side lately, because it is hard to try and understand why God would allow some junkie or killer live even if the are in jail they still live better then most of us do. God helps me to battle this depression that I deal with everyday of my life. Yes it is a lot of stress when I dress the way I do and go out into the public eye, but I live my life to try and make myself happy and God has also gave me the strength to do that as well. I hope that I will be able to stay at home till the end comes for me, I sure don’t want to end up in a nursing home. Jackie, my friend has given up his life to help me deal with mine. I have watch as he has chanced over the past few weeks. It did not know if what I had been tell him was true till he set in the office and hear it from my doctors.
I know that God will not take me till he is ready for me and my work here has been done. I am not afraid to say that I am not wanting to die and it makes me sick to know that so many feel their life is done. It is never done, one can live forever and knowing that you are dealing with some form of depression is half the battle. You can win and get to a day where you just might be able to enjoy what life you have created for yourself. Always be true to you, God loves you for who you are, not just for wanting to be something. Be yourself and live for yourself and God…
Though for today! Be true to yourself so that ours can be true to you.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson
I am a transwoman with a dream of a life with no walls to shut us in…………..
© 2014 – 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved