Trying to understand my future.

As I lay next to friend sometimes I will wonder if he will miss me when I am gone? I am sure that he will know that somethings has changed around here and that I am not coming home. When I ask Jackie if I could have a new friend in my life he was not sure about all that, but it has helped me deal with everything that goes on today. Sure I got into a lot of trouble because I was trying to protect my friend but it was worth all that I endured. When we walk together is the time that I use to speech with God and him. I have found it easier to speech when we are alone.
You need to know that I am afraid of dying, just as we all should be, because the only hope that we have is for a better future in heaven. I am 64 years old and have lived in more hell then most of you will even see in the movies. I have seen where killing is a way of life and they start at a very young age, most are taught to kill before they can read or write. Some never live long enough to be able to read or write. One may ask themselves how can there be a God with all this killing and suffering going on around us everyday? Well, it is not God which is doing this, it is man kind itself. We as humans have been given the choice to live or die, to let live or to kill. The power of thinking was one of the things that God gave us to separate us from the beast. The beast only knows how to kill to protect itself.
As humans we also have the ability to care and understand the needs of others around us and it is up to us to fill those needs for our fellow man. I know that sometimes it is hard to fill those shoes which we were given to walk in, but we can do it.
The point here is that we should never stop trying to make this a better world for tomorrow because there is always a tomorrow for most.
My friend is my pet His name is Mr. Beasley and I will miss him when I have to leave this earth…….
I am Miss Bobbie Jean, and yes I still have a dream of a better place.
© 2014 – 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved

Advertisements

Hopeful

I feel like the Lord gave me the strength I needed to do what I done today, I know that I feel better about myself for doing the things I done. Al I know I was laying in my bed and something told me to get up and get myself cleaned up and dress up to make myself feel better the it just move forward from there. It was like something was driving me all day to do what needed to be done.
I am sitting here now, thinking about all of this and I feel like the Lord was with me today. I might be dying from this life that I have lived here, but I am also moving forward to a better life with God.
So this is not the end for me, but only the beginning of a new life in heaven.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean with a dream, one race called the human race…

DUST TILL DAWN

Some where between dust and dawn is where I belong.
For I am part of the life that I have lived here on this earth.
But now I belong to the heavens where I shall live out the rest of my time. For heaven is the place for me, there I will find all the love I’ll need.
Thank you Lord for being with me at my time to go.
Bobbie Jean with a dream…..

Life

Life is the most precious thing that we could ever have, yet some of us seem to just take it for granted and use it to benefit ourself. Now that I have no time felt I feel that the time that was given to me, I might have put it to a better use. I feel that I have done my best here, but sometimes what we think is the best we can do is just not enough. The only regret that I have here is that maybe I did not try harder to do more for my fellow man. So please while you still have the chance to make a different in someone’s life, do it today, because tomorrow may just be to late.
Bobbie Jean with a dream…

And the lord is with me.

When I was told that I would be dying soon, I was afraid, I am not afraid anymore because I have felt what the pain of being here can feel like. I am ready to move forward to the heavens above, where I can and will be sitting next to my Lord and Master. The last three days have been like a night mare with no waking up from. I believe in the power of the Lord for he will allow me to feel no more pain.
I am Bobbie Jean and I just want to go home…

THE WOMAN THAT I AM.

Sometimes I wonder if I have become the woman that I always wanted to be?
I know that at a very young age I was in doubt of myself and I knew that something was different about me. I was having to live as a boy when I wanted to live as a girl. Today they are saying that for the most part we all have a choice as to how we live our lives. They are right in some aspect of things. Like for me, wanting to live as a woman, yet knowing that my body say’s I am a man. This is the choice that I have, live in a deep depression all the time because I cannot be what my mind tells me I am, or live free from all the which eats from the inside out, to be that woman that is inside of me. I am not saying that my life as been any better living this way, for sure not here in Ga. anyway, but I am the one that made that choice to live here along with all these ignorant *** people to teach them that they are no way prefect themselves. If they were to stop and look in the mirror they would find that the ignorance becomes them.
I never said that I was beautiful, but I sure can stand on my own two feet here.
So as to the statement that we have a choice as to how we live our lives, yes we do, we live it for ourselves, because it makes us feel better about us, it has nothing to do with you.
I may not be beautiful, but I would say I look pretty damm good most of the time….5372044902_93ba8d0513_n

HOPE IS NOT JUST FOR YOU, IT IS FOR EVERYONE.

 

As I sit here now knowing that my time is getting shorter, it makes it easier for me to understand the power of God. I really believe that he is watching over me. I quest I have done what I have needed to do here in the time I have been here. I set out to try and teach others that trans people are not different from anyone else. I live my life to fill me need to me who or what I am. I really don’t care if anyone else likes the way I am. I can only control my feelings. It is not for me to judge anyone else. God will do that when your time comes up. When I was told a few weeks ago that I was dying, I was sad but now I am kinda glad that I am. It has been hard for me to live here in South,Ga. I have been treated with no kind of respect at all. They have made it as hard as they possibly could and it is still going on today. When I was arrested, I found out that they had all the control, I had really won nothing here. These people are ignorant it the fact that I am a human being just like they are and I have the same rights as they do. Just because I dress as a woman does not make me a monster of any kind. I bleed red just like you do, I die just like you do, so why couldn’t I live just like you do? I believe that the Lord all mighty gave me the courage and the strength to try as hard as I may to live this way I have chosen to live, I don’t hurt anyone by doing this, I am not trying to live with you and you don’t pay any of my bills or buy my food, yet I still believe in the human race. I believe that things will get better for all man kind not just the trans community.
I understand now that God gave us the power to chose the way we live our lives here on earth, It is for us to prove to him they we are worthy of his love. I believe that we are judged for the things that we do, not for what we have done. Sure we have all sinned in one form or another that is because we are not a perfect human being. If we were we would be Gods not humans.
I have been blessed with his love and understanding that we are all equal in his eyes, he does not judge one and not the other, so if you have a problem with someone because of who or what they are you are going to be judged for that. I have watch all the carp about people like This Jenner person making the change, but what they forget is what people like myself have been dealing with all the time long before they made their change. Hell if I had their money I would have done that a long time ago, but because I am just a poor person and can not afford to do something like that, does not make them any better them we are. There are many people that have to live the life they are given because they really don’t have any choice about it.
The point here is that you should never give up on your dreams, they are your dreams live your life for yourself, not for anyone else. Be strong in who you are and allow the love of God, or whom ever you believe in allow you to live happy and full of joy. Never give up, if you don’t try the ignorant people have won.
I have tried to love everyone the same, treat me with respect and I will return the same. Treat me with hate and I will try to forgive.
Thank you for your time, with love and understanding I have a dream that we as humans will come together one day, if not we just as soon blow this world up now.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson and I have nothing to hide from anyone, I am proud of my Name.

© 2014 – 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved