TRYING TO UNDERSTAND!

Finding it hard to understand (how should I feel) knowing that my life is ending. I sleep most of the day and night so as to not have to think about it, but when I am up I have nothing else to think about anymore. It’s like what do I do now and why should I do anything for that matter. I am sure that most of you can tell me things that I should be doing and for the most part you could be right in some form or another, but it is hard to understand why my time is up? I know that my life as been hard and most of it really sucked, if I was to try and look back on it, it would be hard for me to find much good in it, even though I have done my best most of it went to shit anyway. I have tried so hard to understand why a God with so much power would allow all this hatred to become part of peoples live’s and to destroy so much. Today there are cities being wiped out with the weather being the way it is and so many having to die. I am sure that for the most part those were good people and more then likely Christians at that, so why would he allow such a thing to happen. Sure I know that you will tell me that God has a plan for us all and I am sure that he does, but it sure wouldn’t hurt if we knew what it was. Everyday I search for God in my own little world and there are answers that I would like to know. 

I was at the doctors office and there was this bile sitting on the table so I opened it up and started to read, but all that I found was someone destroying someone else because they had do something that God did not like, so what I got out of it was that God was a cruel and hateful God, is that the way it is, is that what the good book is telling all these so called Christians to do, is hate and kill each other if they think that it is Gods way. Well, if it is Gods way to teach hatred then I am not sure if I want anything to do with that. To me I believed all my life that God meant to love and understand each other to learn from each other and to teach each other how to share in what this earth has given us and that is life itself. What we get to live with comes from earth not from the heavens. I am sorry if I have offend anyone, but this is my point of view and I have the right to that and no one can take that away from me, they might can take everything else, but not that.
Thank you for your time.

Written by Bobbie Jean, yes I still have a dream, that we can all live the same.

© 2014 – 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved

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