Gods Will

Sometimes God choose’s us to do things that we are not award of. I know that I am here dealing with death and sometimes it gets hard to deal with, because I am only human and the pain and suffering is hard to deal with. We all ask ourselves and we ask God why do we stay here, what is the big picture? I have been fighting for the rights of trans people here in south Ga. for years and I can still be banned from anyplace here that they choose to. I have no rights here what so ever as a transwoman. I am hated here in the trailer park where I live and I see it everyday. I have tried to be nice and greet everyone with a smile and a hello, but all they do is turn their heads and act as though they did not even see me, that is so sad that people have to act that way. I have not done anything to them.
I am sure that God will show me the right way and the reasons that he keeps me here in his own time and his time is eternally. Yes I am afraid and if anyone say’s that they are not afraid of dying they are lying to you, because everyone in their right mind is afraid.
As a teacher I also must learn as a friend said, maybe God is teaching me something that I still need to take care of. I know that I cannot hate my haters and that I can forgive all those that have wronged me in my lifetime. To forgive takes much less energy then it does to hate.
As for my mom, I have tried to forgive her three times in the past, but she does not except me for me, but I am still wanting to call her and try one more time. I cannot control what the rest of the family does, but that is their lost because I have tried to be part of that family for many years to no end…..
I have lived a hard life as a transwoman here in the hell hole, but maybe I have helped someone see the difference between me and the monsters under their beds.

Advertisements

One thought on “Gods Will

  1. I love reading your posts, i too live in Georgia (Central) wish we could meet someday. You write soo beautifully even though there is much sadness in your post. i think that you are a very very brave girl.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s