With out pain in my life where would I be?

As we get older and the pain gets worst, sometimes we may feel that dying would be a better choice. I have found if one just sits around and dwells on the pain nothing will change for you. I have been working out in my yard and yes it hurts and sometimes I find it hard to even walk when I am done with something, but what I create is beautiful and it is mine to share with others. I don’t have much money, but what I have left when I have paid my bills I use to by dirt and wood and plants to make something for my self and my friend to share. Last night I had worked so hard that she had to help me get up the steps to come inside and all I could do was eat and I just went to bed. But I had did what I wanted to do, no one forced me to do it. That is how I deal with my pain and it also helps me to deal with my depression. When I was told that I was dying and they told me that I should not do anything to strain or stress myself out, well that to me is like already being dead. My words to that was ” I want to live before I die.” I got up this morning because I was hurting so bad laying there, I have taken my pain meds and trying to get myself mentally ready to go back outside and work some more.

Somehow all my life I have wanted God it it. I have never known how to share my life with God, but now things have changed for me. I was at the Home Depot yesterday to get to sheets of plywood and there was some 2×4’s in the dent pile and they were like 70% off because they were a little bent, so I needed some to play in my yard, there were 9 of them and this old man came up and started loading them on his cart, when I said excuse me sir I am buying all them, just waiting for my friend to get a cart. He just got this sad look on his face and said ” I just need two to do something today that he was working on. I looked at him and told him That he could get his two, but I was getting the rest of them. He just looked at me and said thank you sir. I looked real hard at him and said as I reached out for his hand and told him to never call me sir, he just apologized and said he would never call me that again. He told me that he was thankful for getting them at a discount because he was poor, ( like me, LOL)
When I got to the cashier and checked out I found that I was only paying less then a dollar each for these 2×4’s They were normally 3.97 each, well to me it was like God helped me to get what I needed to play in my yard, I felted blessed that we had gone to the home depot and those boards were there waiting just for me. When I got in my van and things were loaded up I said thank you Lord for the deal He had given me today. Because of that wood I can build something in my yard to make it look better.
It is not much of a story, but it felt good to be able to share with some one today.
Well, my pain meds are starting to help me move a little so it is time for me to get dressed and started on my day, first by walking my friend, Mr. Beasley. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday and if you can today share with some one, make yourself feel better.

Remember things could be worst, you could be dead.

I am Miss Bobby Jean and Yes I have a dream of a better world for you and me.

© 2014 – 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved


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