Well, it has been about a week and a half since my neck surgery and it looks like things just might be getting back to some kind of normal for me.
I really believe that the worst part about something like this is dealing with the mental problems that one face’s at a time like this. Sure there are a lot of heath issues and you will more then likely wish you never did it in the first place, but once you realize that you did and you can not change that then you just move on.
I was fighting with depression and it just made things worst as for as I could see. I allowed myself to free myself from the pressure and only excepted the fact there was nothing I could do and everything else just kind of fell into place.
I try to write about what I feel and allow people to enter-act in my life to help me deal with things like depression and by doing so it gives me a sense of helpfulness. It allows me to give something back to those that give to me.
Things like depression can and will take everything from you if you allow it to. It does not care who you are and what you think. It is strong and only gets stronger if you allow your fears to feed it, that is what it lives on, the fear of the unknown is the worst there is. When we don’t know the answers, it makes us weak and unsure of ourselves.
I have found that for the pass few days I have looked at my life different and maybe I can makes some changes that would help me in the future.
When something like surgery slows you down you will have a chance to see things more closely then before and you now become award of what you enjoy most in life. Things like walking my dog, he is my friend and before I had the surgery I complained about walking him, now I wish I could walk him and in the future I will not complain about it anymore.
For the first time today I was able to walk down to the mail box, it felt good just to be able to do something like that, it did not matter if there was any mail or not, it is just about the walk….
I am not any one special or anyone that has a lot to give, All I have is me.
I can only offer you my thoughts and my prayers, Allow you to share your suffering and let me try to carry your burden.
I talk of depression because I deal with depression everyday. It is not something that you can see, it is not something that everyone can deal with. I do not confess to know all the answers, but I know that god gives me the power to write and that is what I do best, I write. If I were an Angel, I would fly down and take you to the heavens, but I am only a writer so I can only use my pen as a sword and fight that fear of the unknown for you. Maybe the words that I write can help you to deal with depression and allow you to move forward in your life.
Remember to always show strength because people look for your weakness and will use that against you to hurt you. Never allow them to see the tears, for they come from your fears. Depression is in no way any sign of weakness, it is a sign of someone showing their strength to fight the unknown………
I am Bobby Jean and I have a dream…..