Well I am trying to get my mind set. I have to go in and do the biopsy for prostate cancer Wednesday which is tomorrow , and on Thursday I have to do a esophagogastroduodenoscopy with biopsy. I will go in the hospital to do both of them, then on Friday I go in to sign the papers for my neck surgery on the 15th. So it’s not like I have anything to worry about.
I quest I could really be depressed about all this and let it just worry me, but I have to much to do to let this happen. It would be real easy to sit here and cry about cancer, or what is wrong with my abdomen, no to say anything about having to go through my throat to do the neck surgery, that in it’s self is enough to worry about and be afraid. There are never any guarantees that everything will be all right, all one can really do is hope that it will. I could say that I will pray that things go good, but I don’t know how to pray. I know that I have lived a full life and lived it the best that I could have no matter what was thrown at me. I would say that I have had a lot of courage and strength to deal with all that I have had to deal with.
I have always though of myself as a teacher and I have tried to teach those that ignorant’s is wrong. It is not wrong to be different or to live the life you have chosen. What is wrong is not to be true to yourself, to allow others to rule over your life.
They worry every time they have to put me to sleep, because of my heart. They hope that I will wake up, they is why they have to do all these test before they can do anything to me. Things like neck surgery becomes more serious and life threatening because my heart is very weak, but like I have told them, I would rather live pain free for three months as to living with pain for six months so it is my choice to take the risk.
If things go ok Wednesday and Thursday, Friday I will sign the papers for the neck surgery. Yes I am afraid, but I have you guys with me, I know that you will be praying for me and the strength of your prays will pull me through all this, that is what friends are about, it does not matter if we have never met in real time, I know that here you are a friend of mine.
I hope that your day brings you some kind of happiness and allows you to share a smile with someone.
I am A Transgender person live in a transgender world as a girl, with hopes that one day I will be just as equal as you are.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean and yes I have a dream…….and what I have learned, is that one can not control what others do or say, so I have just chosen to live my life, my way.
Food for though… be true to yourself and you will be a better you in the end.
My panties are to tight so it will be no panties Tuesday girls…