At 62, I now sit and wonder if all the things I have done in my life were the right moves. When we are young we have the choice’s then to of the way we want, for the most part that is, it does not always turn out that way. I for one now know that there were times when I should have chosen the other path or road, some may call them (key points), whatever you chose to call it, it is what brings you to what you are today.
I am not sure why I felt the way I did when I was younger, all I know was that I found out to late that I was different and I had taken the wrong path, not knowing that I could have changed that.
I had a chance to move into the world of the gay community and start a new life, but I had already moved in the wrong direction and was not able to do so at that time.
I was in my early 20’s and would have moved to New Orleans into the world that I so much long to be in now.
I was afraid of losing my family and friends, so I just moved on, now knowing that it would not have made any difference because in the end I lost everything anyway. Now I can only imagine what my life would have been like if I had made that choice. I was invited to move there and start living in the gay community. Everything would have been taking care of for me, but I was a fool to believe that what I was doing was something more important.
After years of trying to live as a man, only to find that I would one day step into the world as a woman, I have had a long and hard road.
I have been beaten down and I have been told so many times no, you cannot come in here or on you cannot live here. I have still tried to move forward in my life.
It would have been easy for me many times to just give in, dress as a male and go on with live, but when I look into that minor I have to deal with me, I am Bobbie Jean now, I am not that man I used to be.
I know that you believe that God made me a male and I should live that way, but as to my believing that God is transgender, I have been born in the image of my Lord, he has given me the greatest gift anyone could get. I do not live in one world, but I live in-between both worlds, getting to enjoy the most out of life.
I can enjoy the company of a male or female giving them the best of what I have to offer sexually.
For a long time when I was younger I tried hard to hide that in feelings I was having, but the day that I changed my life forever was the first time I stepped into the bath room as a male and game out as a female, it was awesome, the feeling that I had overwhelm me.
To feel so sexy and feel so soft when I touched myself was like on feeling I had ever had with a woman. I fell in love with the woman in me, so I named her Bobbie Jean, she became my Queen.
She became part of me and I tried hard to share her with the male in me, but I could not deal with him anymore. One night I shoved him into that minor and locked him up inside of it.
Now I was the one that stepped out into the public eye.
I am what I have become, I am me….
I AM TRANSGENDER
JUST ME TALKING HERE AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.
ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HAD SOMETHING INSIDE ME TELLING ME THAT I AM A WOMAN, IT DID NOT MATTER ABOUT WHAT I HAD TO DO TO LIVE MY LIFE OR HOW I HAD TO DRESS, THIS FEELING WAS THERE AND I DID ALL I COULD TO TRY AND LIVE AS YOU WOULD HAVE ME LIVE. IT WAS WHEN I HAD TO MAKE A CHANGE IN MY LIFE, NOT FOR YOU, BUT FOR MYSELF. IT HAD GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT IF I HAD TO LIVE AS A MALE I DID NOT WANT TO LIVE AT ALL. I HAD MYSELF PUT INTO A MENTAL WARD TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM ME. YEARS OF TALKING TO COUNSELORS AND READING ALL I COULD FIND DID NOT HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I NEEDED TO KNOW. I HAD TO LIVE MY LIFE FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. YEARS OF TEARS AND BROKEN HEARTS HAVE GONE BY. I AM HATED TODAY WHERE I LIVE JUST BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN TO LIVE MY LIFE. I OWE NO ONE ANYTHING, NOT EVEN THIS EXPLANATION TO TRY AND HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM.
BEING DIFFERENT AS YOU WOULD CALL ME IS NO MORE AS MUCH AS IF I WERE BLACK OR YELLOW. JUST BECAUSE SOME ONE IS DIFFERENT DOES NOT MAKE THEM A BAD PERSON OR A MONSTER.
WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT IS WHAT MAKE US UNIQUE IN GODS EYES. THE CREATOR WOULD NOT WANT US ALL TO BE THE SAME, BECAUSE IF IT WAS TO BE THAT WAY, THEN WE WOULD HAVE NO REAL CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
TO BE A CROSSDRESSER IS A CHOICE, BECAUSE FOR THE MOST PART THEY DO IT IN FUN AND TO FEEL THE SEXY SIDE OF LIFE.
TO BE GAY IS NOT A CHOICE, BUT IT IS A MAN THAT WANTS TO BE A MAN WITH OTHER MAN, THEY DO IT FOR THE SEXUAL NEED.
TO BE A SHEMALE OR TRANNY IS ONE THAT WANTS TO BE A PORN STAR, BECAUSE THEY HAVE CHOSEN THE SEX SIDE OF THIS, IT IS NOT THE NEED TO BE A WOMAN AND LIVE A NORMAL LIFE AS WE HAVE CHOSEN TO TRY AND LIVE.
TO BE A DRAG QUEEN IS SOMEONE WANTING TO ACT AND PERFORMS FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT, YET THEY CHANGE BACK INTO A BEING A MALE.
A TRANSGENDER PERSON IS ONE THAT WANTS TO CHANGE THEIR WHOLE LIFE SO THAT THEY MAY LIVE AS THEY FEEL. I FEEL I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR.
WRITTEN BY BOBBIE JEAN
I HAVE A DREAM
ONE WORLD WITH ONE RACE CALLED THE HUMAN RACE.
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